I thought I would never feel the light of life again when I realized that my marriage was going to end. In fact I went through a painful year of not knowing if it would end. I had several months of suspecting that she was having an affair.
Citizen. I was a total wreck. I had waited until I was 31 before marrying. Six years into the relationship we now had two children who were facing with us a life-changing crisis – possible divorce. As it turns out my wife had already made up her mind. At the time I felt like it would have been better to lose her to death, but I didn’t. I just lost her and she was still there. There was nothing I could do to make her change her mind.
As anyone could imagine this was one of the most painful things anyone could go through, especially our kids. In the beginning it was really hard for them to go back and forth. We some how came to the conclusion that they should live with me and then with their Mom after a time. We didn’t want the usual absentee dad scene. Anyway, the pain was almost more than I could bear. When I was outside on a sunny day it felt dark and cold to me. There were times I though of suicide. It only took the thought of leaving my kids without a father to get past these thoughts. There were days when the only way I could ease the pain in my mind was to read scripture for long periods of time. I tried not to sit still or become idle because if I did the pain would come in like a flood. I could get over the fact that I was headed for divorce. I was not in control of anything. I prayed that God would change her mind. When He didn’t I had to accept it. She had a free will. I prayed that he would take away my pain, and that of the kids. He said he would. Children And Divorce.